Oh the Drama!

This little guy never ceases to entertain. Whether he is sneaking up on his brother, stealing hair ties from inside the nightstand or tearing across the yard after a falling leaf, it's safe to say he gives it 100%! 

Check it out:

This is his "I want to go outside and the dog door is locked" voice. Uh-huh, we have to turn the TV up to block the howling drama because this can go on for 15 minutes! (Complete with standing on back legs and scratching at the door, I will have you know.)

Eventually our Rusty, with the Scottish mutton-shops, tuckers himself out and wants to be comforted to sleep. Somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind, his enthusiasm continues.  REM sleep is the perfect place to continue his dramatic journey.

Thinking about getting yourself a 9 month old kitten? I recommend it!

The Isolation Cafe : 10 months later

Not trying to brag or anything,  but I've been successfully creating, plating and serving an array of delicious dishes at the Isolation Cafe for 10+ months now. 

In a covid pandemic, 10 months in the restaurant business is an achievement. 

Ok, ok... so maybe if you give away all the food and don't pay employees (me) it's less admirable and can hardly be defined as a restaurant.

But here's the thing; I'm still meeting expectations and achieving goals so IMHO a little self congratulations is warranted anyway. 

 

What were the goals?

Eat well. Healthy,  varied and interesting. 

Use this time to try new recipes,  perfect older ones.

Learn more about myself, food and kitchen appliances. (Yes,  you heard me correctly. Don't tell me you are familiar and use, all the bells and whistles on your appliances.)

Avoid the temptation to luxuriate with in-restaurant dining despite the risk - because it is one of our little pleasures.

Thai sticky rice: I'm on the right track but it's gonna need some tweaking to increase the stickiness. This dessert, like many Thai recipes, appears to improve overnight. Perhaps the challenge is less recipe-based and more about learning patience? (Oh boy...)

Banana cake/bread: A recipe I've been using and fussing with for 20 years.  I hold dear the belief that because it contains whole wheat and fruit, I can justify the addition of chocolate chips by the handful. In this case, a little online grocery purchasing error meant we were in possession of a crazy quantity of bananas - and 6 of them were dark brown in the fruit bowl at the end of the week. That's mandatory banana bread baking, right there!

Bread pudding with a twist: 

The day I found chocolate cranberry bread in the supermarket was the day I new bread pudding could be WAY elevated!

This version features increased amounts of cranberries and chocolate, by my own hand. The whole deal is drowned in a sweetened egg mix and baked till the edges are golden and crisp.

It was served with a measure of heavy cream... while the pudding was still slightly warm. 

I could live off this. 

Flaxseed Muffins: Little bites of something that tastes like carrot cake, but in fact is better for you and therefore can be eaten for breakfast, without guilt! I took many of the cues for recipe altering from taste-testing over YEARS in Aspen. One of the cafe's there has something called "kitchen sink muffins" and I think I'm getting close to replicating them. 

Scones - the real kind.... how they are made in England and New Zealand. You'll think they are more like an American biscuit, than the US version of a scone. Not sweet. Just buttery good and then you plonk on some lemon curd or jam, and a dollop of heavy whipped cream or clotted cream. 

Uh-huh... the freezing and thawing of mini-pies was an experimental success. We defrosted slowly and warmed them again in a muffin tin. Seriously though, they are 99% as good as when fresh. 

Lattes are also improving.  While I'm proud of my milk foaming skills now,  I'll be the first to admit that you're unlikely to see hearts, ferns or swans gracing the top of any drink I make you. Your choices are: Blob of foam. Or no foam.  The end. 

Noom...

Ok, the day of reckoning sometime in December.  Having broken records for both my personal weight, the number of clothes I could no longer wear and how quickly I had amassed pounds in 2020, it was time to have chat with myself.

I joined Noom in January after being bombarded by ads on Facebook. Yes, I have seen The Social Dilemma, thanks for asking. Noom promises to use psychology to guide me to change some habits and meet my goals. 

My journey has always been documented on this blog. Weight gain is a part of that journey. And hopefully it's reversal will also be a part of the journey!

Firstly a little bit about Noom:

Its a course in psychology for the most part. The idea is that learning what triggers poor judgement around food, whether that is peer pressure, eating out, ignorance around ingredients or just what type of person you are and your own weaknesses, is helpful in making better decisions - for a lifetime. Nothing is off limits but tracking food, exercise and that dreaded number on the scale, is a big part of building self awareness and accountability.

Yes, there is a virtual coach and a community of folks you can chat with who are at about the same point in their lessons. Oh yeah... lessons are daily. Pop quizzes are involved. No it's not rocket science and yes, its actually pretty interesting stuff, based on long term studies and short term experiments on humans with food - Properly conducted at universities and medical institutions.

That's my summary. Now to reveal the more intimate details of my experience:

I have a slight frame, am not curvy and carry little muscle mass naturally. My healthy place is right around 123-127 lb. Anything over that is only distributed in a 12" section of my body... hips and butt! 

When I hit >138 lb last December, the first thing I did was start donating all the clothes I could no longer fit. It felt better than staring at them in my closet or trying to squeeze into work pants and skirts, that were not even close to my size anymore. Have you ever tried bending over in a skirt that is 3" too tight?! It hurts!) But the relief was short lived. At some point, COVID will not keep us inside any more and work appointments would require work clothes... not yoga pants. I needed to think through my end goal.

Also, Mark and I have plans and high hopes of traveling to Nepal in late 2021 and hauling butt all the way to Everest Base Camp.  Did I want my butt to be 10 lb heavier than it had to be? That's not insignificant on knees or easier to breathe when the air is thin. Imagine trading 10lb of hips and thighs for 10 lb of camera equipment and using it to capture joy, instead of kill it.

I committed to myself and Noom, to spend 3 months diligently working a program. A goal of 10 lb was defined. This is what it looked like Jan 17 2021. The first day I logged weight in Noom:

Just to be clear, the idea of stepping on a scale every single day, is not to know every single weight change but rather to cure a person of their fears/resistance regarding stepping on the scale. It's simply about desensitizing yourself to thoughts that come with weighing in.  YES, some days or even weeks, it stays still or moves up. That's just part of being human. Follow the plan and ignore the number... there are other ways to track progress. 

I have incorporated gentle but regular exercise into my plan. Building muscle and 're-distributing' the pounds means I don't expect a linear progression toward my goal. Progress can be defined by increasing weights I can lift, how many cardio minutes I can do without legs falling off, how chatty I can be while still walking up hill etc. And... fitting a pair of jeans that had been shelved the last couple of months!

This is my graph at Week Two: 

I felt great and very proud. Little did I know that my "plateau" was coming. Noom knew though... the lessons started getting heavy on looking for ways to track and reward yourself without losing faith or giving up altogether. Plateaus are apparently very common and 2 weeks later, I found myself at the same weight every single day for 14 days! 

I resolved to stay the course. After all, I was fitting more clothes and actually the scale told me that body fat was decreasing, even though weight was not.

Ok, so let's talk food. Im pretty good with breakfast and lunch. Packing them both with lean proteins and lots of salad-y type things - eggs, smoked salmon, radish, tomato, cucumber, lettuce, fruit, cottage cheese etc. I eat a lot more than most people would guess and I don't want to feel hungry because it makes me cranky. 

Dinner is when I eat the most and dessert is something that I have about every other night. Why not give it up? Same reason as wine.... because I like it. I'm trying to build habits to last a lifetime. I have no intention of removing sweets or wine from my life so I need to find ways to moderate them and still incorporate them.

What I have reduced is portion size. Noom recommends using a smaller plate to trick the eye, which apparently plays just as big a role in feeling full as the stomach!

 And instead of a latte every day, I go the latte route every 2nd or 3rd day and stick with regular coffee the other days. 

Bread, not my go-to comfort food, It's something I realize I eat because I love to bake it! I also came to the conclusion that it was a vehicle for tasty calorie filled things, that I would not otherwise eat as much of - jam, cheese, peanut butter, honey, mayonnaise.  Thankfully, I have little trouble giving up salty things. Im only addicted to sweets!  LOL

Speaking of salty; reducing salt reduces weight (extra water you absorb) quickly. Home cooking is way less salty than store bought or restaurant food and it is here that the benefits of COVID isolation are actually helping!

At mid March, I hit my 10lb goal. I've been pretty good since then, but not expecting to lose more than a couple more (slow) pounds from here on out.

In fact, my Noom subscription was up on March 24th and even though I didn't plan on renewing... I did. I have enjoyed all the tips and tricks and super interesting studies on human psychology. Our relationship with ourselves and our food is down right fascinating! I don't have much left to lose and am not attached to the number on the scale at all now... but I'm grateful for the little Noom community that I have bonded with. Especially my accountability partner, Joel, who is on his own journey to a healthier self in Texas.

Today my Noom weight graph looks like this: I'm about the same size as 2017 Dallice!

P.S.  For simple and FREE weight, food and exercise tracking, I have also found that FatSecret.com is a good way to stay accountable to self.

Leaving a Toxic Relationship

 So you're in an unhealthy relationship with a narcissist and you finally understand that the only way to get healthy again is to end that relationship. Well, take it from me, it's going to be messy. Really messy. Narcissists are powerful personalities, often with a loyal following, ego's that huge and fragile and the need to engage an audience.

He won't let you leave the relationship easily.... or peacefully... or without burning down the house.

If there is a way to prepare for this, I never knew it. I just suffered through the grueling experience of leaving a toxic relationship, one day at a time and at some point, the healing began and out of the destruction grew strength and wisdom. Our country is beginning their journey down this road today

In the case of Trump, the election was the first real step in us terminating our relationship with him. His ego had a meltdown and he engaged his friends/bro's to convince us that we'd made a mistake. It's not that Trump thought the relationship would never end, it's just that he needed to be the one to end it - on his terms, in his good time. He painted himself as a victim of us. (Boy, have I been here!)

The "bro-code":  Its not that complicated from what I can gather. The guys friends listen to the reason for their friend exiting the relationship - mostly along the lines "she went crazy and I had to dump her" and they take his side regardless of whether they have opposing thoughts.

Trump... we'll let's assume his Rep. party members (and lawyers) are the bro's. They did a pretty good job of staying loyal, listening to rhetoric about why the country chose to leave him (Trumps version is that they didn't reject him, it's a counting error). But last week, even the bro's turned on him when they acknowledged Biden's Presidency and wouldn't support the mob at the Capitol. They need to be on guard now. You've heard of a woman scorned? Well, a narcissist is worse!

Narcissists need an audience. Trump needs to know people are paying attention to him. Social media gave him an audience, motivated him to push boundaries and when those boundaries were not enforced, he pushed further. And further, without penalty. All narcissists do. It's incredibly frustrating to those in a relationship with them, or trying to leave it.

Moving on is hard. It requires expert guidance and help in formulating and enforcing boundaries. Don't let him in your house almost goes without saying. Almost. In my experience it takes a WAY long time to convince your ex that he is no longer entitled come back into the house! 

The narcissist ex will come back again and again. He'll ask you out for dinner and try to convince you that a friendship with him would be nice. With it will come some half-assed letter the he'll believe constitutes an apology. (It will not read like an apology, but more like a thinly veiled accusation - blaming you for their actions - because narcissists don't seem to actually feel remorse.) Trump WILL come knocking again... Whether he needs you to cheer him on as a reinvented reality TV personality or throw your support behind him (or his offspring) in the political field, he'll expect you to cooperate. 

IMHO, we all need to take a good look at what we want and need in our relationships. I told my ex that he simply didn't meet minimum requirements for friendship. It was part of the healing. And I believe when Trump comes a knocking a the door again, we need to remind him he doesn't meet minimum requirements either.

Starting 2021 with a donation and lots of gratitude!

I confess that the days are blurring. With Mark off work I no longer see with clarity, the difference between weekdays and weekends.  And I forgot date night. The first date night of 2021!

So on Saturday January 2nd, we made time to create a date day instead. 

Have you ever been to The Wild Animal Sanctuary (TWAS) in Keenesburg, CO? We decided that a crisp blue-sky day was the perfect time to take drive in the Tesla, a wander around and drink in some stories of rescue animals... and I mean shockingly, disgraceful stories of neglect and abuse - some even coming from now infamous "rescue facilities" in the USA!

The Wild Animal Sanctuary has been around since 1980, but for the first 20 years, it was closed to the public. You see, this place is dead serious about putting the needs of the animals first. The rescued animals are all territorial and with the approach of strangers, comes a flight or fight response... and none of these are really possible in enclosures, which leads to stress. 

Once it was discovered that the animals don't consider the sky to be their territory, elevated platforms and walkways were built and it became possible for people to visit and view lions, tigers, bears, wolves, coyotes, foxes and others, without detrimentally affecting the animals' quality of life. 

Now, about 200,000 visitors per year come to TWAS and are educated about the exotic pet, captivity and breeding issues that exist in the US and other countries. The vast majority of the animals here were confiscated by law enforcement or seized with legal action. Most were born in captivity.

Let's talk about who pays for the staff, facility and animal care.

During the summer months, about 49,000/week of food is needed. That number halves in winter as the bears are hibernating. Most animals are eating meat 3x/week. The bears tend to graze and have food available more often - and the black bears get less meat, more vegetables and fruit. 

ALMOST ALL of the food is donated by Front Range Walmarts! That's right... our big box stores and uber-wealthy families do fill a niche in the USA too and you too can feel good that when you shop at Walmart near here, you are helping to feed these beautiful animals.  Grants and donations also fund the sanctuary, but no, they don't receive State or Federal funding.

There is 1.5 miles of elevated walkway and viewing platforms. A little frosty this morning... at 32 degrees.

Fox

Donation plaques. Some are sentimental... some hilarious.

Lynx sunning himself on a platform.

This is how he wakes her up!

At just 5 months old, this guy is the baby of the sanctuary.

These two reminded us of our two - on a grander scale!

Life is good!

Each enclosure has a vehicle path all the way around it, and a view.

The grizzly cub series! These triplets are 15 months old.

Arctic wolf. Majestic.

The sanctuary is technically not home to bald eagles, but with copious quantities of fresh meat being delivered to enclosures, it's no wonder that each year these eagles make a stop on their way to/from somewhere else. They tend to arrive mid Jan and stay a couple of weeks, but this year they were early. Don't miss your chance to get up close and personal with a national treasure. There are about 40 of them hanging out at TWAS right now. Many are juvenile and haven't got the white head feathers yet. All are breathtaking and yep, they often alight on posts within 20 feet of visitors and stay there for long periods!

This big boy is one of four mates living together in a huge enclosure.

He heads up one of the 4 blended family prides.

When a black bear came unexpectedly and briefly out of hibernation today... his tiger neighbor, was curious. The bear poked around in the sun, posing for pics and rubbing his head and butt against a post, then went back to bed.

Chubby is an understatement!

Some of the tigers choose smaller enclosures over large, open spaces. Several have PTSD type issues after spending a lifetime in a tiny space and others are simply at an age where "assisted living" has become more appropriate and comfortable.

The females are on birth control to stop unwanted pregnancies. If a male is neutered, he suffers negative health effects from the reduced hormones, including the loss of his mane - which helps determine his place in the pride. 

I guess what I loved the most about seeing the critters at The Wild Animal Sanctuary is that this is their FOREVER home. Animals that started out in roadside zoo's, private houses and tiny cages, those that had never smelled fresh air or felt grass under their feet, had never learned to run... found their "happily ever after" here, on 789 acres of natural habitat. They can expect to be heaped in love, have a reliable source of food and world class health care for the rest of their lives. Most of them have found new friends, a new pride or blended family. They can be seen playing, resting together and simply looking relaxed and happy at The Wild Animal Sanctuary.

Admission to TWAS:

Right now you need to wear a mask inside the buildings and when passing close to others on the elevated walkway. Reservations are not required unless your party is 10+ people. They are open 7 days a week from 9am and you'll want to allow 3 hours or more, IMHO.There is a 12 minute orientation video to watch before you can begin the walkway outside. 

Tickets are $30 for an adult... and please know this is the base price. There is an expectation that you'll also make a self-determined donation. Trust me, you'll be like 5 mins into the video before wondering if it's too late to donate more. It's not. Donations can also be made any time from the comfort of your own home, using the website: https://www.wildanimalsanctuary.org/